


You’re the only one who knows how to calm me down

by 7billionothersandme



Series: Affectionate Stormpilot Suggestions [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, M/M, Platonic Cuddling, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, hand holding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-07-10 22:49:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7011424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7billionothersandme/pseuds/7billionothersandme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Going from a strictly regimented lifestyle to the more relaxed attitude of the Resistance is not an easy change to cope with sometimes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You’re the only one who knows how to calm me down

It starts when he first wakes up from his coma. At first he notices the sounds, a beeping that sounds distant and distorted, as if he were underwater, a straining hum that could be voices or engines or something else. Then the pungent antiseptic smell hits his nose and it immediately takes him back to the the Finalizer. Being a trooper, being trained to kill, escaping, running and running and running and Poe and Jakku and Rey- 

 

Rey! She had been hurt. Finn had to make sure she was okay. He forces his eyes wide, despite the burning, fluorescent lights and attempts to sit up, hands sliding and tangling in the sheets. There’s pain burning down his back and he’s trembling and maybe yelling but the rushing in his ears is stopping him from hearing properly

 

Several medics rush into the room at the beeping alarms and go to restrain Finn, pushing down on his shoulders, “Sir,” one of them says, “we need you to calm down, okay?”

 

The pressure on his shoulders only serves to panic him further and one of the medics gets an elbow to the stomach, “Rey!” Finn croaks out, as loud as his disused throat will allow, “Rey!”

 

Another figure runs into the room, Finn can’t see properly, his eyes still burning and tearing up from having opened them so quickly.

 

“Hey! Get off! You’re freaking him out. Poor guy probably doesn’t know where he is,” the new voice says, joining the melee of medics grunting instructions to each other, it’s a familiar one. Suddenly the pressure is released from his shoulders and is replaced by a rough hand clasping his.

 

“Finn, buddy, Rey went to find Skywalker. You’re okay, you’re safe. Okay? You hear me? You’re safe and sound.”

 

Finally Finn is able to focus and make out the form of Poe Dameron leaning next to him, brown eyes wide and reassuring. 

 

“She’s okay?” he whispers, fingers tightening around Poe’s.

 

“Yeah buddy, she’s fine.” Poe cracks a hesitant smile, showing a sliver of teeth.

 

Finn responds in like, unable to resist.

 

* * *

 

Finn is hesitant to go with Poe to the mess hall, he’s only been walking for a week or so and frankly he’s not sure if his back is up for it, though he’d never admit it. Instead he mumbles out a weak excuse about just eating in medbay since it's convenient.

 

But Poe just laughs good naturedly and insists that Finn needs to experience some real food instead of the garbage they feed you in medbay.

 

So they walk slowly down the corridor, the ebb and flow of noise gradually increasing until a set of doors slide open to reveal a large open space, with benches and tables packed with all sorts of life forms and Finn would have stopped in his tracks at the sight of it, were it not for the presence of Poe’s hand hovering near the small of his back.

 

Poe shoots him a grin, trying to comfort him, “I know it can be pretty hectic,” he says, leaning towards Finn to be heard, “you’ll be fine.”

 

Finn just nods, trying to swallow down the lump sitting in his throat. He’s almost gotten used to the noise when they finally reach the front of the queue to get their food and he freezes. Poe seems fine, accepting servings of various dishes, but as the mess staff ask him what he wants, names he’s unfamiliar with, he starts to feel bile rise in his throat. 

 

He looks to Poe again, eyes wide. He opens his mouth the say something, anything, but all the comes out is a stuttering, “I-I need...” Someone behind him presses forward slightly, getting impatient, and he flinches away from the touch, almost dropping his tray.

 

Poe’s frowning now, asking him if he’s okay. All he can do is stare at him helplessly and shake his head, worried that if he manages to speak he might start crying or vomiting or maybe both. 

 

Poe’s eyes soften and he takes Finn’s tray away before taking his hand and leading him out of the mess hall to a quiet side corridor.

 

At some point Finn had started to breath heavily, tears beginning to prick at his eyes the more he tries to push down the sick feelings.

 

“Sit down buddy, there you go.” The cement wall is cool against his back, calming. Poe slides down next to him, still gripping his hand, squeezing it occasionally. Eventually Finn starts to feel like he’s getting himself under control and squeezes back.

 

Poe starts to speak again, “I’m sorry buddy. I shouldn’t have made you go in there when you weren't comfortable with it. Especially not at rush hour. That was stupid of me,” he pauses, looking at Finn, trying to gauge how he’s feeling, “How bout we try again in about an hour when it’s less full and then I can explain everything to you and you can take all the time you need, huh?”

 

Finn nods, glancing at Poe with a smile, “Yeah, sounds good Poe.”

 

* * *

 

 

Eventually Finn is assigned to bunk with Poe, both him and the med staff agreeing that it’s in the best interests of Finn’s recovery to stay with someone he already knows and trusts. Plus there’s the small matter of having to apply bacta lotion to his scar every night before he goes to bed and even if he hadn’t been horrifically injured he’s not sure he would be able to reach everywhere on his own.

 

Poe opens the door with a flourish and steps inside the room, arms wide, “Welcome to your new temporary home! ‘Freshers down the hall, I take the top bunk, I probably won’t snore but I have been known to sleep talk...I think that’s it?” 

 

Finn looks about him, there’s fresh sheets on the bottom bunk, along with some new sleep clothes and toiletries. Poe’s desk is cluttered with pieces of flimsi and flight schematics and data pads, the other one by contrast, is devoid of any clutter whatsoever. He evidently made an effort to clean the place up.

 

“Thanks, Poe. You didn’t have to do this.”

 

Poe just shrugs, collapsing onto one of the desk chairs, “Nah, anything for my knight in shining armour.”

 

Finn grins at that, the irony of the shining armour not lost on him. 

 

A yawn winds it’s way through Poe’s body, “Right, I’m gonna get ready for bed,” he murmurs, louder he says to Finn, “You can stay up if you want, do what suits you.”

 

But Finn is also feeling the exhausted pull of his muscles after a long day, and is in bed in half the time it takes Poe.

 

He lies awake for a while, listening to Poe’s snuffles and mumbles above him, his mind feels like it’s still racing after the events of the past few days, but eventually he’s lulled into a light sleep.

 

He sits bolt upright, breathing heavily, the alarms still ringing in his ear, the smell of fire in his nose. The sheets are sticking to his skin and he struggles with them before eventually throwing them off the bed in frustration, looking down at his hand he realises that they’re trembling violently. 

 

“Finn?” Poe’s voice climbs through the haze of panic from the bunk above, “You okay, buddy?”

 

Finn’s unsure if he can form words yet, just shakes his head despite Poe not being able to see, “Here, I’m coming down, okay?”

 

The bed shakes slightly as Poe clambers down and kneels next to Finn, holding his shaking, sweating hands in his own strong, dry ones.

 

Eventually Poe clambers onto the bed in front of him, presses his forehead against Finn’s and whispers to him, “You’re in the Resistance base on D’Qar. Your name is Finn and you escaped the First Order with Poe and now you’re sharing a room with him and you're  _ safe _ .”

 

Finn squeezes Poe’s hands and lies back down, the trembling gone. 

 

“Stay, please.” Finn manages to force out, so Poe lies down next to him, pulling the sheets back up from the floor.

 

They lie in silence for a long while, and Poe is beginning to think that maybe Finn has fallen asleep before he whispers a small, “Thank you.”

 

Poe smiles at him the darkness, “It’s nothing, I know you’d do the same if it was me.”

 

But Finn shakes his head, turning to face Poe fully, voice heavy with sincerity, “No, I mean ever since I woke up I’ve been freaking out about stuff and every single time I do you’re there and you calm me down and you don’t ever make me feel wrong about it. Thank you, Poe, for always knowing how to calm me down.”

 

And maybe Poe’s eyes sting a little and his throat tightens and thanks the Force for the darkness of their room when he says, “I’ll always have your back buddy, I swear.”

**Author's Note:**

> idk how i feel about this one, but that mess hall experience is 100% based on my own experiences so kudos to me for projecting onto fictional characters like a pro, but just as in my last one when i wanted a bit of cheeky finn, he does also definitely have issues with anxiety i think so i guess this is the counter to that one


End file.
